The Ballad of Mr. Creepy

List'n to Creepy’s story, when you get a chance
Dirty old man couldn’t kept it in his pants
An' then one day, he was chattin on the ‘net ,
He was lookin to see how many hoochies he could get
Porn that is! Cyber sex! A/S/L!

Well, the first thing ya know, he’s on the telly phone
Getting many calls from some woman no one knows.
Til then one day the boss called him to his room
An’ he headed in thar to await his doom
Suspension that is! 5 days! No pay!

Now when he comes back he’s s’posed to be a “new man”
But we know better and he’ll do that shit again.
His wife won’t give it up so he’s gotta get some game
But he better use protection or he’ll wind up with some pain
Herpes that is! Crotch rot! Itch and burn!

If you go without sex it will make you go batty
But if you have ho’s, don’t make ‘em call you ‘Daddy’.
There’s one thing to learn from the story of this fool
If you look at porn at work, then don’t play pocket pool
Five-Finger Mary, clean your rifle
Yall cum back now, y’hear?

It's the fair

Still lurking about

I'm contemplating the meaning of life and other profound mysteries of the universe...I shall continue shortly.

(really I'm just doing dishes, laudry, vacuuming and other stuff I've slacked off on for the last few weeks...listening to some good music and just generally trying to take a break)

"Music is worthless unless it can make a complete stranger break down and cry"

What people used to eat.

I never want to hear anyone complain about the stuff I cook.
Shutup and eat it...I could have made you THIS

Keeping with the whole medical theme...

No, I'm NOT pregnant...But thanks for asking...
I did pay a visit to the local emergency room this weekend. It started when I got back from the BBQ at my cousin's house. I had eaten half of a cold hamburger, spinach salad, taco dip (used your recipe Regan!), and carrot cake from Costco. The pain started as a slight burning right under my sternum and spread out to the right and the left in a searing pain that left me unable to stand straight or sit still.
In the ER, donning one of those wonderful hospital gowns, I was able to lie face down which eased some of my pain but I was still not able to sit still. This was definitely the worst pain I had ever felt, worse than childbirth, and there seemed to be no way to get rid of it. A doctor came in and asked me a bunch of questions, felt around on my tummy, and told me things I didn't really understand. I do remember the shape of his mouth when he told me he as going to give me something that tasted like C-RA-P. His mouth accentuated the word and it seemed to come out in slow motion. It was very strange.
This is when the nurse with the foreign accent and hair down past her waist decided it was time to start my IV. No biggie, usually just a prick and it's done.
So she got my arm bound up and started poking around with her finger to try to find a vein. I have very small veins so 5 minutes into it I told her she should try the other arm where I had blood taken earlier in the week. There was even a bruise to guide the way. She got me bound up, rubbed the alcohol on my arm, got the needle and I felt the prick as it went in.
"Uh oh..." she said
"What?"
"I didn’t get your vein. Let me see if I can find it..."
She then proceeded to move the needle around inside my arm…
So here I am doubled over in pain and she's probing the inside of my arm with an 18 guage needle.
"owwwwwwww"
"Does that hurt?"
"Yes?"
"Oh I'm sorry"
Giving up finally she took out the needle and put the first of many pieces of tape over the area. Now she wanted to try the other side of my arm...with the same results. Did she flunk out of the part of nursing school where they learn about needles?
She got a smaller needle and returned to try again, this time on my wrist. Now, if you pinch your wrist and then pinch the inside of your elbow you'll notice that it hurts a LOT more on your wrist. Can you see where I'm going with this?
3 needles and 2 wrists later she finally decided to let someone else have a go at starting my IV. I've been there an hour already...
The someone else came in to try at the IV. She tied up my arm, felt my vein, stuck the needle in and suddenly I was bleeding all over. Success at last. She proceeded to get the 7 vials of blood that she needed, taped up the IV so it wouldn't come out and left, vials in hand, just as nurse with long hair was bringing me the foul tasting green liquid CRAP (called a GI cocktail). I was still in a considerable amount of pain by now, not even mentioning the numerous holes in my arms, so I held my nose and drank it down. It tasted like Solarcaine. My mouth, throat, and everything beyond was numbed almost immediately by the green concoction which allowed me to relax finally.
When I had gotten there they said I might have gall stones and they wanted to check it out to be sure so off I went to have an ultrasound. Mr. Ultrasound technician didn't want to tell me anything about what he was doing, all he wanted to do was try to impale me with the ultrasound probe. Breathe in, hold it, and breathe out...again. I watched the swirly shapes on the screen and I swore I saw someone's face looking back at me but I said nothing.
Back in my room the CRAP was starting to make me sleepy so I dozed until the nice doctor came to tell me that I have gastritis, to eat bland food for a few days and to come back if the pain returns.
So far so good, I haven't had pain. Maybe it was caused by stress, maybe by medicine I took for my migraine, they don't know. All I know is I get to eat baby food and mashed potatoes. Dr. Atkins would not approve.

Time to lose weight

Today I wore a long jean skirt, a button down shirt (untucked) and some cute sandals that I always manage to twist my ankle in. I look the same as always, or so I thought.
Icky came up to me earlier and whispered
"Are you pregnant?"
"Um, no I'm just fat"
"ohhh no...you're not fat, I just thought because you are still so young... you look 'fluffy'."

Yeah sure you did bitch. I wasn't born yesterday. You wanted to let me know what a big fat cow you think I am. Well guess what, it worked! Maybe if you weren't menopausal I would ask you the same thing. You could stand to lose a few as well, honey. and "fluffy"? WTF is that? How does a person look "fluffy" if not covered by a thick coat of hair or at LEAST wearing a mohair sweater??
I thought everyone had made this social faux-pas at least once in their lives and were so embarassed by it they vowed never to do it again? Evidently it's never happened to her or she is just an evil ho bag.
I am thinking the latter...
I haven't gained or lost any weight in about 6 months, yet I've been told I look thinner, younger, older, and now pregnant...proof that clothes do make the woman.

She's fine...

I talked to her and she sounds much better than before. Although now I'm sure she'll be freaky afraid of bees...

I feel better anyway.

Bee sting

I just got a call from the day camp my daughter is attending. My daughter has been stung by a yellow jacket on her finger and I could hear her wailing in pain in the background.
girl:"Hi, um, is this E's mom?"
me:"Yeah hi"
girl:"Yeah, um, like, she was just stung by a bee on her finger. Is she allergic?"
me:"No she's not allergic that I know of..."
girl:"ok good so she's ok then. do you want to talk to her?"
me:"ok"

E:(uncontrollable sobbing)
me:"What happened?? How did the bee sting you?"
E:"I...(sob)...saw...(sob)...a dead bee...(sob)...and I picked it up...(sob)...and it stung me...(more sobbing)"
me:"Well you know you shouldn't touch them honey. I'm sorry you got stung..."
E:(sob)"Mommy...(sob)...it...(sob)...hurrrrrts...(louder sobbing)"
me: "I know it hurts sweetie. Get some ice and that will make it feel better"
E:(sob)"I...(sob)...don't...(sob)...have...(sob)...ice...(sob)...OWWWWW (louder crying)"
me:"Ok, let me talk to the girl again"

girl:"hi"
me:"hi, she needs some ice or something cold to put on her sting"
girl:"well we're going to the Y in a little while, I'm sure they'll have something"
me:"don't you have anything there?"
girl:"no not that I know of. we'll go in a couple of minutes I just wanted to be sure she wasn't allergic..."
me:"you know, bee stings really hurt a lot and she's never been stung before. will you please see if you can get something now to help her out?"
girl:"ok, i'll see what I can find"
me:"ok, thank you, call me back"

I say "girl" because the people they have in charge of the kids at the day camp are a bunch of teenagers (kids themselves really). I know I'm doing the whole over-reactive mother thing, but dammit my baby is in pain, I can't do anything about it, and the people who are supposed to be looking after her don't seem to give a flying shit. She's never been stung before. How do I know she won't have a reaction? It's been a half hour now and no one has called to tell me if she's ok or anything.

5 more minutes and mama bear is not going to be happy...

A.. Heart attack on a plate

Q. What do you call a sandwich made of chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks and french fries?

Keep out, or this angry amoeba will force you to breakdance.

David already pointed this out, but I thought it warranted a second link.

Right now, this second, I'm getting DIRECTV installed. I will now have hundreds of channels of nothing instead of dozens. Is it just me or do the people that always seem to come out to install these services look like they haven't showered? Without fail, they smell like sweat, dirt, and cigarettes. I understand that they probably have to crawl around under houses and things, but could they not at least wash their hands before moving onto the next house? It's like shaking hands with the bottom of someone's foot. I know it's possible to stay clean. Both of my nephews work construction and manage to not smell like a dirty ashtray all of the time. Maybe I'm missing something.

Today is better

Thanks for your concern. =) I'm feeling better today. Looking back on my entry from yesteray, you would think I was dying or something. Geez I'm so wimpy sometimes...
I didn't go to my softball game last night. Instead I stayed home and layed on my bed surrounded by pillows and the fan blowing on me. My kitty cat curled up next to me and purred until I fell asleep. It's funny how they always seem to know when I need to be comforted. It may have been hormones, or some kind of weird bug, or stress, but whatever it was, a good night's rest/sleep cured it.

Mr. Creepy brought up the subject of Scott Peterson today. I looked right at him and said "I think all men that cheat on their wives are the scum of the earth. I mean why get married if you're going to do that? Why not just stay single?"
He didn't have much to say about that... Hmmm, maybe that hit a little too close to home for him. If Mrs. Creepy comes up missing we'll know who to blame.

Something is wrong with me

I feel odd. My legs hurt a lot. I haven't exercised to make them hurt (perhaps that's the problem?), I feel dizzy. If I move my eyes too fast it makes me feel like I'm going to fall over. I've had a terrible mood all day long. Pressing each of these keys is sending weird pain up my arms. The sound of the keys is slightly painful as well. I have a scowl fixed on my face. Maybe not a scowl, but a look of deep thought...not a pleasant expression. The skin on my back is almost unbearably hot to the touch and my hands are ice cold. I don't have a fever. I can't seem to get comfortable no matter what I do. I can't sit, walking hurts, standing hurts...what's wrong with me??

Now this is just plain silly...

Tutu

I can die happy...

I AM 5% WHITE TRASH! I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box. Take the WHITE TRASH test at Fuali.com

I saw that there are links to my site that I didn't know were there and they are people I don't recognize and there doesn't appear to be any links on these sites to my site...so how could they be getting here?

If a tree falls in the woods and now one is around to hear it...

Misc.

I wasn't going to post this because they are lame and unimaginative but as I got to filling it out I discovered that some of the questions could have creative answers...so it's not COMPLETELY unimaginative, it's just not as cool as coming up with something on my own. I guess I could always break them down into sections (interestingly enough, the first time I typed that I typed sextions...Freudian slip and all).

name: Janelle (spell checker wants to change my name to "sanely"...HA if it only knew...)

location: right now I'm at work. in a couple of hours I'm going to pick up my daughter and we're going to paint pottery in Poulsbo (alliteration!) After that we'll probably catch something to eat that's fast-foody in nature and head home.

hair color? My hair has been described in the following ways: strawberry blonde, red, orange, pink, honey, and "it's like flourescent orange? but it's not completely red, but kind of brownish red"

eye color? blue/green

age? 29

sexiest man ever? Ewan McGregor

do you like your breasts? they're functional...what more could I ask for. my mom used to say that the perfect pair of breasts will each fit into one champagne glass without overflowing (NOT a champagne flute). Mine do that (yes I've tested). They are far from perfect, however.

is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all? Loving someone and losing them give you perspective so that when you love someone again and it's "right", you appreciate it more. I have to wonder though, how can you lose something that's not supposed to be a posession?

are you in a romantic relationship right now? yes i've been known to have them...oh, you mean NOW now? Sure. I mean, yes, I mean, really? I don't know. I mean yes...

favorite song lyric? I don't have a favorite. Right now, this second, I like "What do you mean I don't love you? I am standing here, aren't I" (Snow Patrol - Tiny Little Fractures) In 5 minutes it could be different, but that's what I like right now. My high school senior yearbook photo had a NIN lyric ("This is the only time I really feel alive") underneath it. Looking back now I don't know what posessed me to use the one I did. There are much better ones.

tell me a secret: why should I trust you with my secret? who the heck are you anyway, the CIA? if so, you probably already know my secret so BUGGER OFF.

are you a good liar? no (now you have to ask yourself, is she lying and saying no? and she really IS a good liar? or is she being truthful..ahh a woman of mystery I am...)

opinion on gay marriage? are people seriously going to sit there and complain because gay people want to get married given that divorce statistics say that OVER HALF of all marriages end in divorce?? let he who is without sin cast the first stone you FREAKING HYPOCRITS. don't rant to me about the "sactity of marriage" when over half the nation can't even manage to hang in there...

how have you changed in the past year? I've realized things about love, life and relationships...that I don't know ANYTHING about any of the above. Just when you think you have it all figured out...

favorite super hero: wonderwoman of course

favorite sport: er...um...sex. Yes that could be considered a sport. If they really wanted to boost the ratings for the Olympics, they would make it one. They could offer it as Pay Per View.

if you were an animal, what would you be? hands down, a cat

last cd you bought: Snow Patrol - Final Straw

ever been arrested? um no

ever had to have surgery? no and I hope I never do. I have an extremely huge aversion to being put under anesthetic. I'm irrationally afraid that I'm going to be one of those people you read about that were totally alert and awake during the whole surgery but were paralyzed by the anesthetic so they couldn't let anyone know.

lefty or righty: righty all the way. I usually hit a line drive just out of reach of the pitcher that lands just beyond 2nd base but not quite to right center...they call those 'tweeners and they're kind of hard to field. i often get a base hit out of it.

what would you want to do if you got drunk? usually it involves members of the opposite sex...sometimes not

do you like your name? I always liked the name Jaquinda...no not really...

what do you want to be when you grow up? a good person

favorite board game: Life. I always like it when I graduate from college AND have a kick ass job AND a family of 6...someone should have a word with the makers of this game for putting the idea of such things into our poor impressionable heads... (hehe)

favorite sound: the satisfying sound my shoes make on hard floors when I'm walking down the hall. I once was walking and another woman was walking toward me with loud shoes like mine. I started walking "louder" and she did the same. I said to her "my shoes are louder than yours!"
I don't think she understood what I was talking about...that took the fun out of my little game.

favorite smell: man just out of shower

what was the first thing you thought to yourself when you woke up this morning: is it Sunday? I spent about 15 minutes trying to figure this out...meanwhile I hit snooze.

what are you doing after you finish this? eavesdrop on Mr. Creepy talking to his girlfriend

I so want...

a robot vacuum! Strangely enough, it's called iRobot. As if there weren't enough iGadgets already...I would want an orange one (clara). well what other color can you imagine I would have?

Too bad I just dumped a ton of money on a Kirby...yes I know SCAM etc. But I like mine.
It's mighty fine.
I use it all the time.
if you wanna borrow it, get in line.
this is really asinine
ok i resign...

=P

Bad Hair Day

Today it's yuck weather here in my neck of the woods. It's a welcome change from the hot we've had recently but it doesn't do much for my hair. As a result I have a headful of orange frizz in place of my normal hair...I need to invest in some anti-weather hair products. Does anyone have a suggestion?
This weekend, instead of my daughter coming home on Saturday, she came home on Sunday. It had nothing to do with the hurricane and everything to do with not being in the right place at the right time.
What can I say...I just don't have anything interesting to write about. I'm considering changing my format to be a no holds barred/tell all/expose/tabloid type thing...but I'm undecided on that. I think "real" things are more interesting than made up things in general and a lot of times real life is better than fiction (as seems to be the case in my life anyway). Meditate on this I will.
Which brings me to..
STAR WARS
Ok I've been seriously slacking on my online gaming (David can attest to this, he's probably a Jedi Master already or something where as I'm not even a Master anything yet...). I need to do some more grinding. If only I would get sick again! This paragraph really makes me sound like the geek that I am. I'm not ashamed though. I'm proud of my geekiness.
This leads me to something I was thinking about the other night in the shower while I was making a giant mohawk with my shampoo. There is a difference in the definitions of "geek", "dork", "dweeb", and "nerd". I believe all of them are very different. I would never classify myself as a nerd...I'm not unattractive or single-minded enough (and now I sound conceited too...eh, oh well). I'm definitely cooler than a dweeb and I'm not clumsy or unfortunate enough to really be a dork (the first definition, not the second). No, I think I'm definitely a geek, according to the "coolkidz dictionary" Whoever said that those definitions were absolute? And how elitist is that to call yourself a "cool kid". I think the very fact that someone bothered to define these things makes them very un-cool, don't you think? Google has a pleathora of definitions. Their definitions seems to revolve around computer related things but I think a geek could be really into dinosaurs (Ross from Friends?) or some other kind of science-y techno-y thing. I think this site sums it up the best. Yep "self-deprecation and pride"; I think that pretty much sums it up.

A shocking discovery...

Apparently I'm surrounded by perverts...



All of those blue dots are Level II sex offenders. The red ones are Level III. Either I'm REALLY naive or just not paying attention.

Worrywart

My daughter will be home tomorrow...if the hurricane doesn't make it impossible for her to leave. I'm worried. I shouldn't be, she'll be safe, but I want her to come home sooner rather than later and if the hurricane blows everything away then that won't be possible.

Have you ever been doing something that you should be paying attention to only to find your mind wandering and daydreaming? I always seem to come up with these 'what if' scenarios. For instance, at my softball tournament last weekend, in the middle of the game I started thinking...what if I get hurt so bad that I can't drive? how will my car get home? who will take me to the hospital? would i have to be on crutches? would i still be able to go to ">Julie's wedding next month?
I came to the conclusion that Bill, the scorekeeper, would be the likely person to drive my car home because anyone can keep score. He was just there because his wife is on the team. I'd have to go to the hospital alone, but someone would call my mother and tell her what happened...
I have no idea how I got off on this whole tangent about hurting myself in the middle of my game. This is probably how I ended up with the huge bruise on my foot.(see picture below)
OOO maybe I'm psychic!

Here's a fun thing....Online Lite Brite

You have no chance to survive make your time

What you say?

i don't get it...

friend: yuck, fruit
me: how can you not like fruit?
friend: it's pure sugar
me: it's natural sugar, plus it gives you vitamins and fiber

me: so what do you like?
friend: pop tarts


where is the logic??


granted i ate fruity pebbles for dinner...but i also had a nectarine and a salad. so it balances out!

Play the Virgin Game

I know I've posted several mindless, don't-need-to-think-about-it posts.

but i don't care. =P

cmon, play along...

Tired!! Again!!

The co-ed softball season has started. I am playing for a team called the Wannabees. They are mostly people I've played with before so it should be fun. We won our first game 9-6. I played 1st base.

I feel lazy for not posting something better than "what's going on in the life of Janelle" type posts. Perhaps I have been too busy doing real world type stuff to think too much about anything else. Sometimes this is good and bad...

I did make a tasty salad for dinner tonight. It contained teriyaki chicken, sweet onion, cucumber, mandarin oranges, sliced almonds, and poppyseed dressing. It was very yummy. I've been on a salad kick as of late because I'm a)too lazy to cook anything b)trying to lose weight c)it's too f'in hot in my house to turn the stove or oven on.

Ok so maybe you don't want to know what I ate for dinner. I don't care. It's my blog. I'll put whatever I want in it. :P

My daughter will be coming home from Florida in about 4 days! This has been the fastest 8 weeks in...I don't know how long. I'm trying to get all ready. Her room is half painted and tomorrow will get new furniture. (this would be the real world stuff i was referring to...) One day soon I'll be able to walk through the living room without stubbing my damn toe.

Ok enough with this annoying drivel...time for bed.

Good night bloogerland.

How Jedi are you?

From Marc...a jedi test...


:: how jedi are you? ::

Hell yeah!

" "

You won't be around forever girl, you've gotta grab life with both hands.
-lyrics from Post Punk Progression by Snow Patrol

so what did you do this weekend?

I'm exhausted from this weekend. I'm not entirely sure that I did enough to qualify for 'exhausted', but that's neither here nor there.
Saturday, had the State softball tournament to go to but could only play one game because there was a rain delay and I had places to be. We lost the first game but it's a double elimination tournament with a 3 game guarantee so we simply went to the loser's bracket.
Saturday night, went to hang out with Susan, David, Nicole, and Susan's sister Theresa and her Huge Ass Dog, Pheobe. We sat out in the yard in front of their apartments. They drank but I was feeling broke (as in no money) and had to get up really early so I did not partake. Here are some pics.

susan and david

chinese lanterns

gracy has her port and starboard lights on
I didn't get home until 1am and still had to marinate chicken (recipe is in the previous post) for the BBQ thing on Sunday so I didn't get to sleep until about 2:30...ughhh
Sunday I woke up late (surprise) and barely made it to my first softball game. We played a good game, although I only got a couple of decent hits. I just wasn't playing well this weekend for some reason. We won the first game and during the 2nd game, playing 3rd like I had been for a while, a fast grounder was hit my way. I moved to scoop it up and didn't quite have my glove low enough (I was anticipating it dropping and bouncing up). Instead it hit the inside of my foot and left me with this...

lovely isn't it...and painful, but I'll live. I'm a softball chick ffs, I can live with a few bumps and bruises. I'm also a wuss so I will complain about said bumps and bruises like a little girl. heh
I had to leave the 3rd game after about the 3rd inning so I could make it out to my mom's for the BBQ. It was a nice day, but too hot and the shirt I chose was the kind that falls open when you lean over...not very convenient when you are playing with babies who love to play on the grass. So my entire family got a peek down my shirt all day, oh well, nothing much to see.
I was feeling really rough by about 8pm so I decided to do my part in the cleaning up and call it a night. I did have a very nice bath when I got home. I have some really cool things from Lush that smell good and are nice if you just want to sit there and soak for a bit. I feel much less achy today because of that.
So that's about it. What about you?

Pseudo Supa heroin

I visited Jack's page today and was reminded of an old anime-type cartoon I remember seeing on MTV a long time ago called Aeon Flux. She was cool. She could catch flies with her eyelashes and flip and jump all over the place and her abnormally large breasts never seem to get in the way. We should all aspire to be like her.
It was kind of a futuristic cartoon. In the future apparently people will think ear nibbling is the equiv. of oral sex or something, they all seemed to enjoy that immensely.

Here's a link...and another.

Huh?

I'm tired. I feel as if I could nod off at any moment. I will have to save my weekend update for later when I've had some coffee. For now, because it doesn't require any thinking, here is a quiz I picked up from Evil Science Chick who's not very evil who picked it up from Fleece....blah

The ??
Last Cigarette:	no way ho say...yuck
Last Alcoholic Drink:	pinot grigio while having dinner with my sister, my mom, my brother, and his girlfriend.
Last Car Ride:	the 5 minute commute to work
Last Kiss:	a goodbye kiss
Last Good Cry:	about a month and a half ago
Last Library Book:	I don't think I've checked out a book from the library since 6th grade...and then it would have been a Beverly Cleary book.
Last book bought:	Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination by Helen Fielding
Last Book Read:	the same as above, it's by the same author who wrote Bridget Jones Diary
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:	The Day After Tomorrow
Last Movie Rented:	Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone...I hadn't seen any of them and my daughter wanted to see the 3rd one so I had to catch up.
Last Cuss Word Uttered:	Fuck...yesterday when I was fielding a grounder and it hit my foot instead of going into my glove
Last Beverage Drank:	Instant Breakfast
Last Food Consumed:	the same as above...
Last Crush:	the lead singer from Keane...what a cutie!
Last Phone Call:	I called my voice mail
Last TV Show Watched:	I haven't sat down to watch tv for a while, but it was probably something on HGTV
Last Time Showered:	Yesterday
Last Shoes Worn:	My red sneakers...they are what I'm wearing right now.
Last CD Played:	Weezer...self-titled
Last Item Bought:	a diet pepsi and some cherries to take to the yard party on Saturday
Last Download:	Snow Patrol's latest CD...from iTunes
Last Annoyance:	The old lady who came to a full stop before turning into the parking lot this morning.
Last Disappointment:	this morning when I weighed myself and found I'd only lost 1 stinkin pound.
Last Soda Drank:	Diet Pepsi on Saturday at the yard party
Last Thing Written:	a recipe for chicken marinade (4T soy sauce, 2T brown sugar, 2T mirin, 4T sweet chili sauce, black pepper...marinate overnight)
Last Key Used:	My office key so I could slip in the back door unnoticed (I was half an hour late...oops)
Last Words Spoken:	Hi...to whoever just said 'what's up Janelle' behind me (i didn't look)
Last Sleep:	10 and a half hours last night....and I'm still tired...
Last Ice Cream Eaten:	Fudgesicle yesterday at the BBQ
Last Chair Sat In:	My desk chair at work, the one I'm sitting at right now...
Last Webpage Visited:	does this one count?
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

How many people are running for president?

See for yourself...is this what CNN doesn't tell us?

I think we should all join the Turtle party...or even the National Barking Spider Resurgence party! I think the most amusing one was this guy. Nice hat... heh

it may be Hormones

Maybe it's that time, maybe the planets are aligned, maybe there's a disturbance in the Force. I don't know what it is, but I'm in a ridiculously good mood today. I have no idea why. I should be panicking. I need to paint my daughter's room, move all of her stuff back in, all of the while going through it to weed out the stuff she need to get rid of but didn't want to (ha! she's gone she can't say anything), and dust from hi to low before next Saturday when she gets home. It seriously doesn't seem like it's been 8 weeks! Where the heck did the time go? Why does life go by faster and faster as we get older? I can remember when summer used to be soooo long and now it's over before I even feel like it's started.
So anywy, despite my house being a complete disaster with her stuff everywhere and having to cook food for another family BBQ-y type thing this weekend, AND having a softball tournament...I'm doing great!
I just hope this lasts through my 5 minute commute home. heh

Coincidence? you be the judge...

SHB points to this post that points out some very intriguing facts regarding the terror alert. Perhaps W. is preying on our nation's short attention span.

Yuckkk!

How does one get this hairy??

I think the funniest thing about this article is that posted right next to it was this link for a search on Ebay.

SUV madness

I know a lot of people like SUV's. I can see how having all of that room would be appealing. There was a time when I thought owning one would be a good idea. I no longer think that though. I think there should be some more screening before you are allowed to drive one.
This article by Andy Bowers for Slate makes a few excellent points.

Why shouldn't drivers of heavy vehicles (defined as vehicles over 3 tons) be required to have additional tests in order to operate those vehicles. They drive differently and are trickier to maneuver just like a big truck (which is essentially what they are). So why aren't these people required to be tested on their truck driving skills before they are licensed just like commercial truck drivers? Motorcyclists have to have a special license in order to ride a motorcycle because they aren't like driving a car. Neither are these huge behemoths you see barrelling down your street.

Another point; these vehicles are costing money to tax payers because they shred up the street requiring it to be repaired more often. Yet, because these vehicles are over the 6,000 lb. cutoff between light and heavy trucks, they are eligible (at least in CA) for a tax write off. WHA??? So these people, who may or may not be able to drive their huge gas guzzling monster, are blazing down my street and chewing it up, but they don't have to pay taxes to cover the damage that their glutton-mobiles are causing??

For some reason, when I think of SUV's I think of all of the things that are wrong with America. We are overweight, lazy, and we like to throw our weight around (lately anyway). Yesterday I was walking to my car and I heard the noise of a big engine behind me, you know one of those diesel sounds like busses and semi's make. I turned around and was it a bus or a semi? No, it was one of those huge Dodge pickups with the extended cab that is about 8 feet off of the ground. Was it carrying rocks or some other kind of heavy item? No, it was dropping someone off at the Emergency Room. Why do we need such huge vehicles? Isn't gas expensive enough without having to get twice as much of it to make your car go?

Ok, I guess that was a bit of a rant. I just want to understand. heh

My, she's busy today...

Ok, and I just couldn't help myself..gotta post a link to this article, courtesy of Clara at the SexHamster Blog. (I don't think I want to know how she came up with that title...)

Is Reuters a liberal slanting media outlet? Anyone know?

And now for some low-brow entertainment..

It seems like there is an abundance of that on the Internet, don't you think?

I knew it...I'm a geek, but only when I need to be...

You are 40% geek

You are a geek liaison, which means you go both ways. You can hang out with normal people or you can hang out with geeks which means you often have geeks as friends and/or have a job where you have to mediate between geeks and normal people. This is an important role and one of which you should be proud. In fact, you can make a good deal of money as a translator. Normal: Tell our geek we need him to work this weekend. You [to Geek]: We need more than that, Scotty. You'll have to stay until you can squeeze more outta them engines! Geek [to You]: I'm givin' her all she's got, Captain, but we need more dilithium crystals! You [to Normal]: He wants to know if he gets overtime.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Ok, will someone tell me why there is a picture of Kirsten Dunst associated with this??

There's a hole in the bucket...

I bought a new pair of pants yesterday...and I noticed just now that they already have a hole in the crotch. What amused me about this was not the fact that they are brand spankin new and already have a hole, but that upon closer inspection, the hole has a sticker stuck to the outside of it with an arrow pointing towards the hole.
Just what are my pants trying to tell me???

< blink>

This will make you go blind...

Brushes with celebrity

I haven't had that many in all of my 29 years. I didn't think I was one of those people who get all crazy around famous people...I still don't think I am.

The first time I was in close proximity with a person of national fame was at a concert in Jacksonville, FL. Cake was headlining the show and the guy I was dating knew them somehow...I can't remember how though. We got to go backstage after the show and hang out with the band. I talked to the trumpet player, who was really shy, and I told him about being in high school marching band and he didn't make me feel like the geek I so obviously was which was nice of him. He let me hold his trumpet...no not that trumpet...I didn't get to play it though. The lead singer guy was nice as well. I think I just shook his hand. They gave me a signed poster and wrote "Janelle Rules!" on top of it.
See?


The second time was at a Blink 182 concert at the Milk Bar (which evidently doesn't exist anymore, I can't find a link to it). This was before they were big enough to play big arena shows and there were maybe 100 people in the club. I got to sit on the stage right next to the bass player. He was doing his punk rock bass player thing and his foot was right next to me so I untied his shoe. He kind of looked at me like "why the hell did you just untie my shoe?" and then he smiled and stuck his foot back out (still playing the song the whole time...he was good) so I could tie his shoe. I tied it in a triple knot...shameless flirt that I am. Thinking back on this, that is probably the lamest thing I could have done, but I was only 22, I can blame it on my stupid youth. Plus he winked at me when I tied his shoe. I felt all giddy and stuff.

Then I seemed to have a lull in my celebrity sitings until earlier this year. I have posted many times about Jamie Oliver being my favorite celebrity. I got to attend a live interview/book signing that he had in Seattle in March which was, of course, thrilling for me. I got there really early and managed to land a spot in the very front row, but wouldn't you know that I was dumb and forgot to bring my "real" camera so I was stuck using my camera phone.
This is the only picture that came out...and it sucks! But it's JO! and me!


When I was in Philadelphia this past April, I happened upon a film crew filming in a park downtown. (It was right accross from Kiehl's...they make good lip balm...) Anyway, they had made snow earlier in the day and it was kind of piled here and there. Snow in April! In Philadelphia even! Too surreal...They were making rain with these huge rain machines and it looked really cool and movie-like. Apparently for rain to show up on film they have to make these monsoon-like rain showers with these machines so that's what they were doing.


I even managed to get a cool picture of it...


We hung around trying to find out what was going on. We found out it was a Cameron Diaz film that will be out next year called In Her Shoes. We looked around for Cameron and finally found her hiding off to the side of the "set".
That's her in the brown trenchcoat and the hat.

Ok so that MIGHT not be her...but it could be!

There are still a bunch of celebs that I wouldn't mind meeting in person. I doubt it'll ever happen, but it would be fun to see them in an every day situation, like at the grocery store or taking their kids to the park. I hope to have more brushes with celebrity this September when I get to go see Keane live! (BTW, still looking for someone to go with me...anyone? anyone??)

p.s. are these pictures killing anyone yet? does it make the page load too slow? tell me tell me!

Spamusement

Via Laura at Snerkology, poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines.

My fave so far is "Why don't you think ahead?" or perhaps We have your medicine.

Cool site

I thought this was a good.

2004 AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE SELECTOR

I don't know what to say...

I've been having sort of a dilema lately. I don't like to go into too many details about myself on my blog. I have been trying to think of things to write about lately and I've sort of been at a loss. When I look at the other blogs I read, they are interesting because they are about the details of people's lives, the same details that I'm not comfortable sharing. So what's a girl to do? Do I start a new blog where I am totally anonymous and see who starts reading? Do I make up stuff? Do I just say what I want to say and not worry about who is hurt by it? I think my life is probably interesting enough that I could write about it, but I'm not sure if I want to.
I don't have any great tragedies to write about in my life right now...well I do but it's dramatic and soap opera-like and I don't think it would be good to show everyone the skeletons in my closet. Then again, that's what people want to read. They want to read about other people's stories. They want to identify with them and know that they aren't really alone. Perhaps they've been through something similar and reading about someone else's life makes them feel validated. For the most part, on the surface, things are great. Even deeper down they aren't that bad...not bad at all really.
The strange thing about this post is even though it's about how I don't know what to write, I've written something. Ironic.

Bremerton? I heard of that place from Sir Mixalot...

Yes that was a direct quote from one of the boy scouts in an adjacent camping space asking where we were from. It's so nice that our town is known for its population of fat slutty women...the BREMELOS! (of which I am not one of strictly by definition...) I would much prefer the MXPX song for people to remember, but I don't think they are quite as popular...
So this weekend was camping and hiking near Mt. St. Helens. We were on the southwest side of the mountain so we didn't get to see so much of the devastation caused by the eruption 24 years ago, but we did see some really cool old pyroclastic flows and my car was covered in ashy dirt. Next time I'm doin the whole thing...going to hike around the mountain to get the full effect.I just need to get myself into some other kind of shape besides round.
I've always been fascinated by Mt. St. Helens. On May 18, 1980 at 8:32am the mountain erupted killing 57 people and caused the largest landslide in recorded history. I was 5 years old. I can remember riding in the backseat of my parent's car and looking out the window at the gray ash piled on the sides of the roads. I thought it was snow. I'm not sure where we were going. I also remember going over bridges and seeing the rivers thick with debris and mud. I thought it was the coolest thing to have a volcano so close to where I lived.
Being my nerdy sciency geeky self, here are some pics I took this weekend...

Above mentioned dirty car...


First glimpse of the mountain after coming out of the biting-fly infested forest we had just walked through...(note to self, bring DEEP WOODS OFF next time...Cutter just wasn't...um...cutting it)


Further down the trail, another view. You can see the pyroclastic flow that came down the mountain and sort of fans out. It was so close it felt like you could walk right up to it.


Walking across the afore mentioned pyroclastic flow, I got a sense of how huge it really is. Imagine if this was coming towards you at 175 mph and was 1200 degrees...


Another view of the flow...note the blown over trees.

The green trees you see here have grown since the eruption.

There are more pictures but they aren't nearly as fascinating as these ones...try to contain your disappointment.

Ernie Alert!

My apologies, but I have no control over the terror alert you see in my sidebar. It's supposed to be Ernie! We're in the Orange Ernie Alert! Hopefully the issue will be remedied shortly...I apologize for any inconvenience.

Pictures will follow shortly of what I did this weekend...

ooo late night blog...

ok who's going to see Keane on Sept. 7 at the Showbox in Seattle with me?

Anyone?

I'll buy you a ticket!

C'mon, I can't go to the city all by myself! I'm not old enough!