The End

Unfortunately, to avoid any further stress, I will not be posting to this blog for a little while.

I may reconsider, but for now...just no...

It's been fun...




p.s. if anyone knows how to fix my sidebar so it's not at the bottom of the page, please let me know...

Trying for something profound...

Love encompasses all emotions. It has the power to both create and destroy, to heal and wound, to be born and to die.

It's a very powerful emotion and is not limited only between humans. In reading Chip Gibbons' post about the death a pet, I cried (ok maybe I am a little emotional/hormonal at the moment) because I could relate to exactly what he was talking about...

Would you buy this?

I have been thinking about making a bumper sticker...
Here's what it would look like...




So tell me, would you buy it?

Mean Girls

Lindsey Lohan is cute in a japanese animation sort of way. She has huge...well everything...and nary a blemish on her entire bod. If I was a teenage boy, I would have loved this movie...
This movie seemed like a cross between Clueless and Heathers...only not quite as dark as Heathers, and not quite as cute as Clueless. There were plenty of things that went straight over my daughter's head (it was a PG-13 rated movie after all...) but it got some laughs.
I would say it's worth the $14 I paid to get in.

ABC

There is a phrase that one uses to describe their taste in music. ABC means "Anything But Country". I think this pretty accurately reflects my taste in music, though I do like SOME (very few) country songs if they have catchy lyrics or a good hook. Most I've found to be twangy, bleeding heart, ballad-y, syrup-y CRAP. It's the latter that my co-worker in the next cube (not Mr. Creepy thank god...) has chosen to listen to. I'll call her Capital D. She is a very large person...who is loud...and slightly obnoxious at times. She gets winded walking down the hall. It's a little bit sad...
She has phone conversations with her husband who lives in a very far away place. I understand (believe me I do...)it really sucks to be that far away from the person you love, but does that mean that when you talk to them you have to be so loud that everyone around you can hear you sit there and call him little pet names..."i love you sweetie"..."no you hang up first"..."kiss kiss". (GAG). Her favorite names for him are "Bucko" and "Toots" which she calls him about 50 times during the conversation. The Wrestler and I have started calling each other Bucko...unfortunately he's within earshot as well.
I don't think I have complained about Capital D very much because she generally isn't that annoying (well it's a tolerable level). She recently got her PC sound card fixed though and ever since thinks that we all want to listen to CRAP just like she does. I listen to music sometimes. I make sure that I'm the only one who can hear it. I keep the sound very low. Capital D has one of those speaker systems that consist of 2 "regular" speakers and a woofer which means that she can play the CRAP even louder.
I wouldn't normally complain about this, but it's been going on every day (ALL DAMN DAY!) for the last week and it's really starting to PISS ME OFF.

I'm knackered...

Fell asleep early last night on the couch...
Overslept today...

Julie Leung has found an interesting thing on a different site that actually attempts to rate how tired you are...

This is what it has to say about me...
You will start to feel noticeably tired at 15:00 and you will feel most tired at 16:00


This would explain why I always seem to doze off at about 3pm. I have a thing I do sometimes where I will sit upright at my desk facing my PC. My hand is on my mouse and from the back it looks like I'm reading my screen....when I'm actually sleeping. I'm sneaky..

Old People Shouldn't Drive

I saw a link on David's blog to this article. There are a pleathora of articles on this topic. I was just thinking about this this morning when I was behind a woman (elderly) who could barely see over the steering wheel and of course she had the biggest boat of a car that you can imagine.
I had to stop in the middle of the road so that she could maneuver her yacht into the parking lot (of which I was about to enter) then I had to stop again while she tried to park the stupid thing.
I think there should be a yearly test required when people retire. If they don't pass the test, they have to turn in the keys to their gas guzzling tanks. It would make the roads that much safer.
I have noticed that a lot of these older drivers try to use that "I'm going to teach you a lesson" way of driving. I have been behind more than one older person who apparently thought I wasn't paying attention or something and took it upon themselves to brake-check me several times forcing me to slam on brakes. A man did this at a stop light one time. I looked up and he was looking at me in his rear-view mirror and did the "tsk-tsk" finger at me. Instead of getting mad, I made kissy faces and obscene gestures at him. heh
OK...I admit, a little immature, but at least he didn't bother me after that. =)

Theft proof sandwich

Today I have taken precautions so that my sandwich will not get "accidentally" thrown in the trash.

I attached a picture to use as a suggestion...


It's kind of an office inside joke. I don't mean this as a threat, but I am hoping this will get some people's attention...

Hammocks...good

I was having a conversation about hammocks...sometime not too long ago...(can't remember?) and I was talking about how comfy they were and how I always fall asleep straight away when I sit in one and how I wanted one and how cool it would be to relax in a hammock. It's like laying on air...gentyl swinging back and forth...breeze blowing...looking up....zzzzzzzzzz literally that fast is all it takes for me to fall asleep...
Then I read Odd Todd's What's Happening thingy and he was talking about falling asleep in a hammock and I was glad that I wasn't the only one who has the urge to just zonk out when I lay in a hammock...
Also, I was reading Belle today and she was talking about time-delayed posting. It never occurred to me to just post something and have it go up later...I think I would have a lot more entries if I did that. The problem is, how do I blog when I'm speeding down the highway in my car? Or in the grocery store?
I think I need a laptop... =)

Case closed

Ok...so everyone in my office was involved in the Great Ham Sandwich Fiasco...finally someone got a bright idea to check the trash cans. They found my sandwich, still in it's ziploc baggy, in an empty trash can with a sheet of paper over the top of it. Someone had THROWN MY SANDWICH away...reminds me of the episode of Friends with Ross's sandwich...hehe
So now I have eaten my sandwich...which was damn tasty btw...All is right with the world...

Office Theives

Someone stole my sandwich. I had made a delectable ham sandwich this morning for my lunch and now it's missing. I always put it in the same place...bottom of the fridge right next to my yogurt. I went in at 11:30 and got the yogurt because I was a little hungry...I ate that and went back at 1pm and....no sandwich. No one is fessing up to it either. I work in a very small office, maybe 10 people, and I can't believe someone actually stole my sandwich! AND I can't believe someone won't at least say 'hey I'm sorry about that, I did it by accident' or whatever. ughhhhh
grrrrrrrr

Germany...AGAIN!

There sure does seem to be a lot of quirky news coming out of Germany...

Note to Germans...keep better track of your children...better yet, just replace them with an ant farm.

Too-high Expectations?

Read an article that dealt with the now infamous pictures taken inside the Abu Ghraib prison.
By the way, who does shit like this and then photographs it?? I always have to wonder about these people. I think this ranks up there with the kids who videotaped themselves setting fire to buildings...
According to Sen. Norm Coleman, it was "not what you'd expect from Americans". Ok, so I guess we should expect this behavior from people of other countries? Holland perhaps? (Lord knows Amsterdam is known for the legality of certain...errr..extracurricular activities) or perhaps (gawd) Germany? (although based on a recent article, maybe not)...

What's up with Germany?

Another brilliant thing out of Germany. Apparently there is a talking toilet that yells at men if they try to pee standing up. The toilet yells

"Hello, what are you up to then? Put the seat back down right away, you are definitely not to pee standing up ... you will make a right mess...""

Hmmm...sounds more British than German...

You mean I gotta put it where??

And to end the day...Thanks to Accordian Guy for the link to this article.

And you thought sex education was lacking in American schools?


Ok, I'm off now...

News of the weird (and grotesque)

Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to lose an eyeball?*
Here's an article about a woman who knows exactly what it feels like. I didn't read the whole article...I think I've had enough vomit-inducing things happen to me today... This is just another reason that I would never have surgery unless my life depended on it... You just never know who you are entrusting your life and body to.

I have a thing about eyes. I can wear contact lenses no problem but I can't watch or hear about any kind of eye surgery without wanting to gag. I don't know what it is. I had to walk out of a theatre when I went to see that movie At First Sight for fear of grossing out my fellow moviegoers with my wretching. I had to stop my mom half way through while she told me about her Lasik surgery...I stopped her when she said "cut a flap in my cornea..." Yes folks, I can dissect cat brains (like in 11th grade A&P) but I can't hear about eye surgery.

*This reminds me...my daughter came out with this the other day...."Mommy, what would happen if your eye came out?".....

I Drank Rancid Milk

I just drank, not one, but 2 huge gulps of bad milk. This is what I get for running out of milk at home...where I can properly monitor it's state and take necessary steps to keep from pouring chunky goo all over my Cheerios.
You see, I had to get milk from the cafeteria here at work today because, as I said, I had run out at home. This is all part of my morning breakfast ritual. I don't really eat breakfast, you see. I drink it. I'm never hungry enough that early in the morning to eat eggs or toast or even cold cereal so I usually drink an Instant Breakfast. (I prefer the chocolate flavor but today I had vanilla.) So I went to get the individial cartons of skim and 2%(because together they make 1% milk...which I normally drink...). I poured them together into my cup and mixed in the vanilla-y powder. My tummy was a little rumbly by then so I took a huge gulp and swallowed....hmmm that tastes a little funny. I then took another swig and it was then that I knew...ughhhhhh I made awful noises...ughhhh! yuck! blaeeeeeeehhhhhh! I quickly poured my breakfast down the drain and tried, in vain, to wash the rancid milk taste from my mouth...all the while trying not to hurl. It was disgusting. Luckily someone was kind enough to bring chocolate cake into work today so I grabbed a couple of pieces of that to try to hide the taste that was clinging to my tongue.
I can still taste it actually, but I'm trying very hard not to think about it...

I intend to get my money back for this. Or maybe I will get some kind of illness and I can sue the hospital for selling rancid milk....

No more Friday Five!

Friday Five is no more. =( I guess I can understand though...it's a thankless job keeping someting like that up.

Maybe I should start up a site called the Thursday Three or something like that?
hmmmm...

Posting via email?

Check!

ughh...

unfortunately I will have to alter my really cool template to allow the title to appear...

I've grown attached to my Orange Zen...

Now with title-y goodness

I have wanted to implement a title on my blog for a while but haven't really figured out how to do it...sure I could do HTML to make the text bigger, but I'm kind of lazy like that.

So now Blogger is all spankin' new and has implemented the feature for me so I don't have to lift a finger...lovely.

I'm having a sudden bout of sleepiness...I might need to get some caffeine...

Here's a good quote for the day after Mother's Day...

"Mother is the name of god on the lips and hearts of all children."

-- Edgar Allen Poe

I spent my Mother's Day scraping linoleum adhesive off of the floor. Weekend warrior I am...

The results are in.

This is the coolest thing I've seen in a while.

Mil mail returns

I'm very happy because I just got my latest edition of Mil mail.
His 'Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About' not only strikes a chord or two, but makes for an afternoon of hilarious reading.

WTF???

I was reading a message board today for mothers of pre-teen girls and the topic of when to buy them a bra came up.
Reading some of the posts, it's a wonder the young girls of America can have any self-esteem at all!
Here is a sampling...

"what worked for our girl is showing her examples of what happens to breasts that are not supported... sagging, wrinkly, stretch marks (she may have some already if she is developing fast) if she doesn't want these things to happen to her she better have support in mind anytime she is active or upright"

"My daughter is 11 1/2 and desparately needs to wear one yet refuses. I have tried everything, talking, yelling, being nice, being mean and finally she is grounded right now from everything."

"Use this line-it always works-"Don't you want to look good for the boys? No man will want you if your breasts sag!" No girl wants to be told the boys won't want her!"

AND when someone spoke up and said that the comments were degrading and that girls don't need to live to please boys, the original poster replied with:

"Wow. You have obviously been influenced by feminazi lies...It is our job to dress sexy, flirt, and act dumb so that men will want to have sex with us. Wearing a bra is the first step to accepting our lot in life."

My jaw literally dropped when I read this idiot's post! I felt a little flame flare up inside of me and had to post a reply...I am not one to keep my opinions to myself.
So, all you scientists out there researching the epidemic of low self-esteem, eating disorders, and obesity plaguing this country...look no further for a major cause of some of it!

Kids say the darndest things don't they?

I was in the check-out line at the store the other day with my daughter who was busy looking at the tabloid headlines. Here's how the conversation went:
E: "Mommy who is Mary?"
me: "who??"
E: "who's Mary?"
me: "you mean Mary, mother of Jesus, Mary?"
E: "oh yeah..."
a few moments later...
E: "well why was she at a JCPenney in South Florida? Did she need to buy an outfit?"
me: (laughing hysterically...) "where did you read that?"
E: "it was on one of those magazines..."

hehe I had a really good laugh at that...had to explain that you can't believe everything you read in tabloids yada yada. It was truly the funniest thing I had heard in a while...
Then yesterday I was getting dressed and was trying on different shoes to see which heels I wanted to wear that day.
In walks my daughter...
E: "what are you doing?"
me: "trying to see which shoes look the best..."
E: "but why do you want to be high?"

I didn't know what to say to that... I couldn't correct her and say "tall, not high" because I was laughing too much.
She asks a good question though...Why do I want to be high? Why does anyone want to be high? hehehe That still makes me giggle. My daughter has the sweetest little voice, even though she's 10. She always sounds so innocent and sweet (well almost always). It's the funniest thing sometimes though...

Toy-let

Accordian Guy has a hilarious post about toilets in Singapore.

Who knew there was a whole organization devoted to cleaner, better loos worldwide? Does that mean we can't write on the walls? What am I going to read when I'm in there now?

Really though, it's amazing that people spend their time and money on worthless crap (no pun) like this when there are starving and homeless people and no cure for cancer.