Officially Aloha'd out...

Whew, back from vacay and I can safely say that I don't think I would like to go back to Hawaii for a while. At least not the part I visited this time. Waikiki, it seems to me, is old, rundown, dirty, crowded, expensive, stifflingly humid, and not that much different from any other city in a lot of ways (hard-to-pronounce-Hawaiian street names aside...). It's like stepping back in time. Most of the buildings look as if they were built 40 years ago. Everywhere you go it's ALOOOOOOOOOHA! and MAHALO! and people call you "CUZZIN" because everyone is one big happy "OHANA" (family). I felt like saying "seriously?" It was all very touristy and kitschy and cheesy to me. Maybe I'm just too cynical for my own good.
Anyway, we had a good trip. At the very least, E and I got to spend loads of time with Jeff for the few days we were there. It will be another couple of months before I see him again but it was nice to spend Thanksgiving with him, even if we didn't get our pumpkin pie and turkey dinner. The luau we went to on Thanksgiving was all of the things I mentioned above rolled into a 4 hour long mai thai fest.
We did get to see the famous North Shore and the Banzai Pipeline. If you've ever watched a surfing movie, it looks just like that in real life...lots of waves, lots of sand, lots of surfers, and lots of signs saying "don't swim here".
Pics forthcoming...

We are about aloha'd out

We are about aloha'd out right now. If you have ever been to Hawaii then you know what I'm talking about. More later..mahalo

Wireless is Wonderful

I'm sitting here in the Seatac Airport at a cafe and I'm blogging! How nifty is that?
I got to the airport earlier than I had planned because I kept seeing on the news how these huge crowds were expected and get there early etc. I got through the check-in AND security in less than 15 minutes. So E and I grabbed a couple of magazines and a bite to eat and she is now happily Gameboy-ing and I'm doing my thing on the Internets. It's nearly as fast as it is at home too.

So I'm off to Hawaii to see Jeff and get lay-ed (hehe) and go to a luau and stuff. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. =)

Sick Day Excitement

Yesterday I was sick. I am borderline losing my voice, even today, and just generally not feeling well. This turned out to be not such a bad thing because I was able to rest a bit and then get some packing done for my trip.
While I was resting I started to get a little chilly so I decided that it would be nice to rest on the comfy couch with a fire in the fireplace. I have those fake-out cheating quick-lite firelogs so it's not an ordeal for me to light a fire. We recently had a new damper installed so I made sure it was 'open'...I heard it thunk...so I thought 'mmmm must be open' and proceeded to light the fire. Jeff had called me from Hawaii and I was walking around the house talking to him and doing this and that while the fire got going. When I hung up the phone I started to put together the stuff to make another cake and I heard the loudest screaming beeping noise coming from my alarm...yes the fire alarm. We have monitored security and fire prevention on the house so when the alarm goes off it immediately calls the monitoring people and they call me to find out if it's a false alarm or not. So as I was frantically opening the damper, doors, and windows, and turing the fan on high, I got the call. I was expecting to just tell the person it was my stupidity that set the alarm off but there was no one on the other end. No matter, I thought, I'll just call them and tell them everything is A-ok.
After hanging up with them, Jeff called back to laugh at me for setting off the fire alarm. That's when a huge yellow truck with a ladder attached to the top drove up and a guy hopped out and started setting it up. I ran out and told them the deal and they sort of smirked and rolled their eyes...yes ANOTHER stupid person who doesn't know how to open the damper properly...that's me.
Here's a link to the picture...

Happy Birthday OrangeZen!

I can't believe I've been doing this for over a year. Where has the time gone?

The one year anniversary of this blog is Nov 19...which was last Friday but I sorta forgot about it until yesterday and then I was sick. The actual "first day" was before November 19, but that's when the archives were transferred over from the other blog I had so I'll just use that as the "official" day.

There is nothing worth reading way back then, just a collection of jibberish and links and nonsense, but I suppose the same could be said for the posts I make now as well.

So here's to more years of jibberish, nonsens and links!

I'm sick...

yes again...
I took something called Delsym. It's pretty rank but works good.
I'll be back to work tomorrow.

OK bye.

Droopy kind of cheese sammich.

No Virgin Mary in mine though...I'm on the ferry right now. I went to Seattle today for some early Christmas shopping. It was cold and lonely and my pants were itchy. It's weird how you can feel lonely in a big city surrounded by lots of people.In less than a week I will be warm and happy and wearing more comfy clothing because I will be in HAWAII!! We get roast pig and mai thai's and who knows what else for Thanksgiving. I can't wait!

It's all about the OH...MY GAWD GIVE IT A REST YOU TART!

Am I the only person who thinks the girl in the Overstock.com commercial is a ho?

Sitting there with her tennis skirt and her legs spread sipping on the straw and with the ghetto bling-y gold 'O' necklace...whenever I see that commercial I change the channel as fast as I can...makes me cringe! I did a Google to see if anyone else thought this way, but all I found were a bunch postings from guys talking about how hot she is. Sure she's ok looking, but she's just so..I dunno sleazy??

Don't get me wrong, I love Overstock.com. I've gotten many fine products from them, I just hate their commercials...

Gave blood...

and now I am feeling a little bit lightheaded and sleepy. So this post might not even make any sense. It's a little like being tipsy.
I knew I was a little bit dehydrated going down there so I made sure to ask them for lots of water. After about 10 cups, I am still not feeling right. Plus, if I drink any more I think I'll yak. I usually donate every few months or so because they are always calling me up begging me to go give blood. It's a good-citizen thing to do. If nothing else, you get all of the cookies you want.
I kind of resent the questions they ask you when you go in there though. It's sort of like the whole "has anyone else handled your luggage" question they ask you at the airport. Do I look like I'm an IV drug user? Do I look like I weigh less than 110 lbs? Do I look like a person who has sex for money (even once)??

Yawwwwn...is it time to go home yet??

Ever have the feeling you are being watched?

This site is very cool. You can type in any URL and even if the site doesn't exist anymore you can view archives of it*.

So are these people just trolling the Internets randomly and archiving everyone's sites? Where can I get a job like this??

*It seems to have problems with old message boards, but other than that, it's all there!

Analyze this

In my dream last night I had a date with a fellow blogger who shall remain nameless. I don't really even know what this person looks like, but the person in the dream didn't really have a face, it was sort of the "idea" of that person...
Anyway..
I had a date with this person. He had a 2nd job in the xray department of the hospital that I work at and for some reason we decided that we had to meet there. We were speaking on the phone and I told him I would meet him there. On the way there I completely forgot that I hadn't shaved my legs in a month. (which actually is true because I haven't shaved my legs since my husband has been gone...) So I had to go home, which was my parent's house in the dream (I was a bit younger), and shave before I went to meet him. For some reason I couldn't find my regular razor (I use a Gillette Venus with the purple handle) so I had to borrow my dad's electric razor...that he uses for his face. This is funny because I actually did this once when I was a teenager and I caught fiery rage for it. So here I am trying to shave off my month worth of growth from my legs (sorry if this is TMI) and it's just not working for some reason. I have to go over and over and over the same spot.
So by the time I got my legs relatively hair free about 2 hours had passed and I hurried to the hospital to meet my date.
Upon arriving I found that he had left me a note saying that he thought I was better than tostand him up and that I wasted his time etc. etc. This is about the time that I woke up so I'm not sure what else happened.

So what's up with that? Why am I having weird dreams about dating other blogger that I've never even seen? What does this mean?

New bag!

I finally decided and ordered a bag for my new laptop. The only real reason I couldn't decide is because I tend to be a little cheap...so I was trying to find something cheaper that I liked just as much as the really expensive bags. That hardly ever works out though because you have to pay big bucks to not look like a dork.
I decided to go with a Timbuk2 messenger bag and a notebook sleeve to go inside it. I opted for that instead of a "regular" laptop case so I could have the option of leaving my laptop out and still having a spiffy bag to use. It's not the most professional looking bag, but really I'm not very professional so I think it suits me.

That's it, I'm moving to India...

if for no other reason than to save my fellow English speakers a lot of wasted time and frustration by talking to people who, let's face it, are nearly impossible to work with. Let's forget their cultural differences for a moment (you know, that whole men talking down to women thing...hey I have to talk to Dell all the time, don't tell me it's not like that) and focus on the very fundamental COMMUNICATION BARRIER that exists between people who don't speak English and people who are trying desperately to understand them.

I had the misfortune of speaking with a "Delta representative" this evening to request a flight for my daughter to visit her father in Florida for Christmas.
Now, I'm not a prejudiced person. I have a fairly open mind. I am all for diversity and all of that, but when I'm sending my daugher on a plane by herself to the other side of the country, I would prefer to speak with someone who wasn't reading from a script in broken English and an accent so thick I couldn't cut it with a knife.

Not only did this person repeat everything I said, causing me to have to repeat myself each time I said something (because she was talking instead of listening), but when I asked for earlier/later flights she read her lines WORD FOR EFFING WORD. Instead of just saying "yes we have an earlier flight" or "no there are no later flights" she would say...

"I can confirm a seat on a Delta flight departing from Seattle on the twenty-first of December two thousand and four at eight forty in the morning and connecting through Atlanta, Georgia and arriving in Jacksonville, Florida at six thirty six in the afternoon".

WTF?? First of all, since when is 6:36 in the afternoon? Second, WHY THE HELL can't she just tell me yes or no?? Does she get paid by the word?

At one point, near the end of the reservation, after I had been on the phone for a half hour with this woman, she asked me if she could confirm my daughter's flight to Las Vegas....that's right LAS_BLOODY_VEGAS...as in NEVADA. Seriously doubting that my daughter would reach Jacksonville at all at this point I told her to put the reservation on a "courtesy hold" so I could call back tomorrow and hopefully talk to someone who could make the reservation without reading it from a book, or a script, or whatever it is they use to train these people.

Wanted:One non-dorky looking laptop bag

I need to find a good laptop bag. I want to get a messenger style bag because they don't look dorky like the ones that look like briefcases. It needs to be on the small side, lightweight-ish, and not scream "I'm a laptop, please steal me". Extra room for stuff would be a plus. One of the ones I'm considering may be too big, but it's hard to tell because the pictures they give you on these sites don't have anything for reference. Another doesn't look as cool but is cheaper. The one I think looks the best, I'm not sure about because it looks like you have to take all of your stuff out to get to the puter.
I have bad indecision about simple things like this. I sit there and go over and over and I make myself go kind of loopy because I can't decide which one I like. Actually, I know which one I like, I just really wasn't keen on dropping another $100 on it...but there you go...

So someone, ANYONE, please tell me which one to buy...

Janelle For Sale - Low Priced Janelle Huge Selection!

hehe AOL searches are so funny...

Because a party isn't complete without...

Had to have "the talk".

As you may know, my daughter is a "tweenager", meaning she's not a little kid, but not technically a teenager yet. It's kind of an awkward phase when you think about it. Their bodies are starting to change, their friends are changing, everything around them is changing. At the same time, they haven't reached the "i know everything" teenager-y years either and although they don't like to admit it, they rely on their parents for guidance on things. As such, with all of these changes, there come a hefty amount of questions. With all of the exposure in the media about sex, I never quite know where she hears certain things. I don't try to sheild everything from her. I think most parents could knock themselves out trying to filter EVERYTHING their child sees and hears. I usually try to use the things she does see and hear as oppurtunities because it no doubt gets the questions rolling.

Last night was different though. We were riding in the car on the way to my cake decorating class and she asks me out of the blue...

"Mommy, is there more than one meaning for 'oral'?"

What to tell her...hmmm. I gave her my best Webster's dictionary answer..."of or having to do with the mouth". Obviously not the answer she was looking for...

"Can it mean sort of a bad thing too? Like that word I don't like to say?"

"You mean sex?"

"uh huh"

"Well yeah, I guess if you're talking about that...it could be bad"

"Mommy, what is oral sex?"

Why do I always get the tough questions?? I didn't know what to tell her here so I thought for a minute and decided that it wouldn't hurt anything by telling her the truth...but this is a PG-13 rated blog so I don't need to tell you what I told her. I will tell you her answer though...

"Ewwwwwwww!! Why would anyone do that???"

Ahhh, exactly the answer I was looking for. I'm no prude by any stretch of the definition, but FFS, she's only 10! So I have nothing to worry about yet.

She asked me a ton of other questions. It was as if she stored them up and made little notes to ask me about them at some point. I'm not really sure what spurred the little question and answer session last night but afterwards I felt really good and a little proud that she felt comfortable enough to ask me those questions instead of getting the answers from just anyone.

Now with creamy random-filled center!

I just cancelled a huge print job (maybe 250 pages or so), but before I threw it all away, I stuck my icy cold hands into the center of it. It was almost too hot to touch, but deliciously warm. It immediatly spread and warmed the rest of me up. I don't know what it is, but when my feet or hands are cold, the rest of me stays cold too...weird.

This weekend was utter laze fest. I'm feeling totally unmotivated to do anything that I have on my "list of things to do before husband returns" so I decided that the best solution to that was to...lay on the couch and watch tv. It was good though, I got a chance to mess around with the new laptop and catch up on my Tivo stuff. It's hard to remember the days before Tivo. How did I manage to watch the things I wanted to watch? I couldn't "pause live TV" and go to the other room. I couldn't set it up to record everything on TV that has to do with Jamie Oliver! (that alone makes the whole thing worthwile)

Thankfully, hardly anyone from work knew this blog was mentioned in the paper. HA! They won't be able to see all the things I've written about them. I plead the 5th of course.
I'm starting to think that perhaps someone should do an interview of people who read blogs rather than people who write them. What motivates people to read the thoughts/rantings/bad and good writings of total strangers, given the fact that most of them (me!) write about utter and complete rubbish? I guess it's finding the profound in the mundane. I think most bloggers would say something like "I'm not here for you, I'm here for me". Well I know that's what I would say...
Everyone wants to find someone to connect with and have things in common with. Everyone wants to know they're not the only one; they're not alone. I think BECAUSE of the mundane and everyday things, written in some blogs by Joe Everyman or Jane Anywoman, it just helps others know that everything will be ok.
But, I could be wrong.

Tonight I have another cake decorating class. Last week I made two tiny little cakes for my neices who just turned one. I'll post some pics soon...they were adorable. Already their little personalities are forming. Zoe, digging wholeheartedly with gusto into her cake, while Gabriella nibbled daintily and sort of grimaced when the sticky frosting got between her fingers. We were like the paparazzi...15 adults gathered around giggling and snapping pictures of the little ones as they tucked into their individual cakes. I'll be sad to move away and miss all of the growing up they will be doing.

Anonymity restored?

It turned out that the article was printed in TODAY'S paper instead of tomorrows. Here's a link.

At first, I sort of freaked out a tiny bit about the fact that, theoretically, people would be able to "find" me now. I took a small comfort in the fact that, although the URL is listed correctly at the end of the article, the first time it's listed is missing a letter. (YES! haha) Maybe people won't read all the way to the bottom of the article. Oh well! Too late now! I'm not going to worry too much about the things I've written. I have decided to "own" it and just say "yeah, I wrote that, what's it to ya?".

Ah, the price of "fame"...

Googlism

I came across this site today and typed in my name to see what would come up.

hands down my favorite one was "janelle is one of the sexiest plump girls on the net"

Although I don't like being referred to as "plump"...I think it's probably not too much of a stretch to say that I'm not exactly thin.

Eh, I'm happy, might as well deal with it.

Coming to a Sunday paper near you...

me! Well, not just me, but including me...I think. And technically it's only near you if you just happen to subscribe to the Sun I guess...but I'M GONNA BE IN THE PAPER!! I haven't been in the paper since I was 6 and some guy took my picture at the Armed Forces Day Parade.
It's going to be an article about Kitsap County bloggers. What a weird way for it to happen though...
I checked my comments and there was one from a guy with the paper. So I gave him a call and we chatted for a few about blogging and why I blog etc. It was the first time I'd ever been interviewed about anything in my life. I was trying to be cool and not come off as the super excited smiley dork that I felt like during the interview..I'm not sure if it worked that way or not.

So um...I guess I'm pretty much busted about what I do at work huh...

New Lappy!

Laptop and a router
Laptop and a router
Laptop and a router for me
dum de dum dum de dum

Finally I will know the joys of laying in my very comfy bed and being on the Internets at the SAME TIME!
Finally I won't have to be subjected to the boring in-flight movie while on a plane!
Finally I can rove around in my car looking to hijack other people's wireless connection!....um..I mean. YAY!

Crazy cat lady

So I was reading Gooch's blog today and he was commenting on an ex-relationship he had with a girl who had bunnies and talked about them...all the time.

I realized it wasn't too far off from the way I am about my cats.I have 2 of them, Callie and Vader. I've had them since they were kittens. I seriously consider them to be a little like my children and I talk to them...no really, I talk to them and they talk to me. Hey, wait where are you going?

hehe
I know it seems silly to talk to animals, but I am the only mother they have known! They follow me around the house and curl up with me at night and sit with me when I watch tv or when I'm on my computer or just in the loo. They tell me when they want to come in from outside, when they are hungry, when they need attention. How can I just ignore them??

I'm not as bad as I used to be. I used to make them have little voices, because who can't look at a cat like this and not think they are thinking something??

Or when Callie sits on my nightstand and pushes stuff off of it with her little paw....how can you not say that she's just trying to get attention or trying to have a little fun?

Or when Vader comes up and meow meow meow's until I follow her to her food dish to get her some food? Or when I used to go to work and come back and all of my daughter's little stuffed animals are all on the floor in a little circle...sort of like Vader was playing school while I was at work! I used to always say that while I was gone my cats did little skits or sang songs or something because I would come home and there would be stuff everywhere. But hey, kitties have to play too!

So, all of this got me thinking...Am I like that? Do I annoy people by talking about my cats all the time? Do people think I'm some kind of crazy cat person who's going to end up living until I'm 103 with no less than 27 cats? My husband doesn't really like them. In fact, he barely tolerates them. When they come up to lay in his lap, he throws them on the floor and how do I react? WHAT ARE YOU DOING! HOW COULD YOU THROW THEM ON THE FLOOR! I tell him that if I had to choose between my cats and him then it would be a VERY VERY hard decision!

Movin' on

In beginning to prepare for an upcoming move, I was reviewing the "maximum allowable loss payment" information on a web site when I came across this...

Ceramaic animals (floor type, such as large elephants, etc...) 250 per item

WTF?? Who has Large Ceramic Elephants in their house??? Who pays $250 for a huge ceramic animal??

Also included was this...

Wigs, including hairpieces 500 per claim

So if your toup gets messed up during the move, don't worry! They have you covered! (hehe)

Warning: Pervs are closer than they appear.

Doh.

Well it turns out that my cake was the talk of the day. I knew it would be funny but I didn't expect people to perv out on me. I mean, the irony of a cake with a rainbow on it and the words "eat me" is just too much for people to pass by apparently. Many laughs were had at my expense. I mean...yes I realize I set myself up for that, but I thought it was hilarious. It still is, but not in the way I intended it to be. Would it have been better to print "bite me" or perhaps "taste the rainbow"???

I thought those would be in poor taste...but evidently so is "eat me".

Hey it's free cake! EAT UP YOU UNGRATEFUL PERVERTS!!

mmmmm donuts...

Woo hoo! 5 ft tall cake made of donuts...and they are Krispy Kremes! What could be better?

Speaking of cake. How do you like the cake I made for my cake decorating class? Now before you go and tell me that it's lame to take a cake decorating class...just you try and decorate a cake! It's not as easy as it looks.


The cake I made was banana cake with vanilla pudding in the center and almond icing. It's not perfect but it was my first cake! I'm very proud. I'm surprised I didn't totally mess it up to be honest. I have to make 2 more cakes for the class and also cakes for a birthday party this weekend so I'm sure I'll get lots of practice. Just call me Martha or something...I don't care! I like doing these silly Betty Crocker types of things.

Where are we? And why are we in this handbasket?

It's not uncommon, on this day, to feel:
Disappointment...
Disillusionment...
Disjointed-ment...
Disgruntled...
Disgust...
Just plain..
Dissed...

But, now is the time to look ahead to a better time. We've a lot of work to do...
Circle the wagons.
Rally the troops.
Start saving up.
Blow sunshine up our arses and move on.

Election Day.

I had a little mishap while voting today.
When I got to my polling place, I discovered they had moved it to a different location. No big deal, I jumped into the car and went to the right place. I got in line and told the older gentleman my name and he said, "Uh oh, I wonder if you're one who has the name on the wrong line"
"huh?"
"A woman was here earlier and she signed on the wrong line..."
"So she signed by my name?"
"Here sign on this line instead...it was my fault, I couldn't tell where the line was..."

Does this sound familiar?
It should, since I posted about the same thing yesterday...the bifocal bias strikes again.

I asked if my ballot would now be thrown out because of this error and he assured me...half-heartedly...that it would be fine.

So I've done my duty as a citizen and cast my vote. I even got an exit poll, which is something that I've always wanted to do so I left a satisfied voter. The questions they ask you in the exit poll are a little silly though. They ask you who you voted for and if you think anyone else can do a better job. They also ask you the reason why you chose one candidate over another...the options were "because I think my candidate is the best qualified" and "because I am against the opposing candidate". Interesting...

Butterfly effect

I was doing some reading today and there was articles talking about the "butterfly ballot" and how there's a big controversy over it's use in this year's election.

What I don't understand is what's so complicated about it?
Here's a pic...click for larger view.


Now, shouldn't it be fairly obvious where to put the punch? Shouldn't any fool be able to figure out that you PUT THE FREAKING PUNCH NEXT TO THE ARROW YOU RETIRED, FLORIDA-LIVING, BIFOCAL-WEARING, METAMUCIL-TAKING, MEDICARE-USING FREAKS...ahem...confused people!

Apparently something called "bifocal bias", where old farts people can't really see who they are voting for, has been discovered.

Perhaps, just so there's no confusion, the ballot should look like this...

Oh yeah...

Here's a link to my new moblog thingy. I'm not sure what I'm going to to do with it yet, but I wanted a place to send pics that I took with my phone without sending them here.