When I know I'm fine, I'm not used to fine.

I'm still riding the retail therapy wave. Newegg.com is sending me a wireless router. eBay is sending me new sheets and a new duvet cover. My therapist would not be happy...but it's gotten me over the one week hump. Now I can settle in and get to work. I have a lot of things planned for the next 4 months or so and with the holidays lurking just around the bend, it's not much time.
Really though, I'm doing a lot better than I was a few days ago. The first and last weeks of a deployment are the ones that are the hardest. The first week or two is spent adjusting to the change of being alone. For me this isn't a huge issue because I was a single mother for 5 and a half years before I got married, but for some it can become a little overwhelming. The last week or two of a deployment is when things start gaining momentum, but they also DRAG on forever. Preparations are made, parties are planned and everything is put in place for THE BIG DAY when they come home and everyone goes into the euphoria that is homecoming.
The last time we went through a deployment, the situation was a lot different and it really distracted me from being able to focus on the homecoming. The last deployment was supposed to be 6 months but ended up being 10 months. I let my loneliness and disappointment take over and we ended up separating for a while because of it. I don't intend for that to happen again. Beyond that, I am absolutely certain that it won't because I'm not going to let it.
Besides, I'll really be too busy painting, refinishing cabinets, and reorganizing to notice that he's gone...well that's the plan anyway...

I'm trying hard to be more "honest" in my blog-writing. Not that I wasn't honest before, but there are a lot of things I held back from posting here because I felt they were too personal. Given my recent writer's block though, I've been thinking that maybe that little bit of personal is what I need to put out there to at least get it out of my head.